Marriage counseling

Marriage counseling MARRIAGE IS NOT A BUSINESS VENTURE

Tips for Success

Many couples embark on their voyage into the “Land of Couplehood/Marriage” full of dreams and joint plans for a glorious future

During the course of the “lifetime” of the relationship, however some couples find that their former glorious relationship has deteriorated to the point of a marital crisis/stalemate.

The act of “Becoming a Couple” and maintaining a thriving relationship entails a dynamic relationship composed of the individual worlds of each of the two partners and the ultimate interaction between the two.

The relationship evolves from day to day and inevitably it must be strong enough to cope with the desires, hopes, abilities and limitations of each of the partners.

The partnership involved in a marital/conjugal relationship is constantly affected by many external forces and factors such as: the extended family, employment stressors as well as the emotional baggage which each partner has brought into the relationship.

With the passage of time the relationship develops an identity of its own – “a third entity” – whereby two separate individuals choose to join forces with the hopes of fulfilling their joint vision.

In order to achieve and maintain a healthy couple relationship, it is important to differentiate and be aware of the pitfalls of equating a business partnership and a marriage partnership.

There are certain areas where the difference is critical and the partners must be cautious not to fall into these minefields.

In a business partnership, each of the partners “gives” of himself and expects to “get” a “return on his investment ”. In the same way that partners who embark on a joint business venture define their strategy and make a business plan to achieve their business goals; similarly life partners need to plan to build and share a household together. Yet they must beware not to fall into the petty modes of “weighing” comparing and competing who has contributed more and who less!

Unfortunately, by applying this business model as a paradigm for the lifetime relationship the couple often sets itself up unnecessarily for hurt and disappointment. Usually one partner feels “cheated” for having “invested more!” or “giving more.”

Eventually, as a result of this feeling of inequality many couples fail to live out their dream of a life together. They often reach a dead end/stalemate and find themselves in danger of separating and abandoning the joint life upon which they had embarked so hopefully at the start.

Writen by Daniella Krause – Marrige counselor